Things I Learned Today... Against My Will #2

The euphoria that comes from having timed it EXACTLY right and leaving $1.67 in one's checking account is cut short almost immediately by the inevitability of some old check you forgot about suddenly clearing.

I'll be in the lab creating a strain of radioactive ATM-destroying mold.

No, the ATM didn't actually do anything to hurt me, but, you know, you have to take it out on something - be glad it isn't you.

Things I Learned Today... Against my Will

A CD that has been mis-recorded, thrown away, covered in refuse, and then wiped with the utmost care by your best minion... can still NOT function and cannot be re-used to store new data if the original failed burn attempt was a finalized CD.

Bags.

Now I need to punish my minions.

Radio Isopod & PFK Day

I see you have returned.

If you want to hear a decent snippet of me vocalizing about the troubles incurred when genetically combining cats and snakes, then listen to Radio Isopod Episode 2 by the delightful Captain Tortuga nee Natalie Metzger. All allegations of having had too much espresso are entirely false. Also I don't like to listen to the sound of my own voice. I'll have to get over that, if I want to do a decent monologue when the time is right.

Did you know that today is Playing for Keeps day? Order your copy here on Amazon.

If anyone is thinking "why aren't you part of a psychic collective if your name is Gestalt" I have to say "I'm working on it, these things take time."

Tiny Update, Tiny Apology

Well I don't know how to say this but, to those of you who ordered the Mad Science Lapel Pin at my store here http://glimmerville.etsy.com/ I have not yet gotten them in the mail.



See, there was this problem with the cat-snakes, who like their food live, and, well it's hard to explain. Anyway it was hard to find any minion who would clean up after them (since I only have, er, one minion), and you can't diaper a cat-snake. Suffice to say, I don't have things cleaned up enough to offer the pins. Hopefully I will get them into the mail tomorrow.



Tangential and unrelated: I am on a promo! A promo for Radio Isopod, a wonderful podcast full of even more mad science. Yes you can hear my voice, unaltered, for all your devious voice-printing needs. Hopefully you realize I am kidding and put in safeguards against that. Do not tamper with this mp3 or you will discover how much malicious information can be compressed and encoded behind a sound. http://www.radioisopod.com/podcast/radioisopod_promo1.mp3

DOUBLE TROUBLE

We break from our regularly scheduled mad science to bring you this:

Today is 08/08/08! What a phenomenal day! And in honor of this amazing and singular date, you should go buy Digital Magic by Philippa Ballantine and Billibub Baddings and the Case of the Pitcher's Pendant by Tee Morris - at Amazon.com!

But don't take my word for it - these amazing authors offer the downloads as FREE pdfs, they are so sure you will love the books and want a real live hold-in-your-hands hardcopy.

And you will.

Go ahead!
http://www.chasingthebard.com/dm/digital_magic_freepdf.pdf
http://teemorris.com/BB-PitchersPendant.pdf

Food (Mad) Science

Molecular Gastronomy

So, we meet again.
Friends, when you think "Mad Science" I'm sure you, like I, think mostly of lab coats, bubbling beakers full of glowing slime, half-crazed minions, and hardly enough time between frenetically paced experiments in world domination to microwave a frozen burrito.

But what does even that frozen burrito have in common with the neon beaker of glowing slime? CHEMICALS! Yes, all food, when you get down to it, is made of chemicals. These are the chemicals our bodies break down into useful building blocks, more or less. And that makes all cuisine into a glorious and choreographed dance of chemistry!

In fact, there is a whole branch of (mad) science dedicated to gustatory delights. This field is called Molecular Gastronomy. A wonderful site and blog dedicated to the topic is Khymos.org. The blog is by a man named Martin Lersch with a PhD in Organometallic Chemistry. He mentions that Molecular Gastronomy is “the science of deliciousness” which is exactly the sort of thing a mad scientist would say to get you into his lab, after all.

Molecular Gastronomy is what tells you that, according to matching amines, caviar and white chocolate are a perfect match. This is not something you would arrive at without science, since it defies common sense. (Then again I have never understood the prosciutto and melon pairing either.) Seriously, follow this link for more “chemically correct” food pairings. Perhaps you will start eating parsley with your bananas every time (for science).

In fact, some thoughtful soul here at the University of Exeter School of Physics, has discovered the perfect formula for boiling an egg! I won’t repeat it without permission; go click their link so that they can get a little attention.

The formula is a hauntingly beautiful thing (if you like math, which I don’t).

If that isn’t mad science for you, well, there’s lots more. It’s all the rage right now to use chemistry to create Flavors and Textures Man Was Not Meant To Know. Lasers. Flash freezing foods with liquid nitrogen. Scented Aerogels that hover briefly before the diner. The Madrid Fusion conference is a major one for Molecular Gastronomy. I imagine this blog would be quite fascinating, if I knew Spanish.
If you root around here you can find hints of the strangeness of which I speak, such as recipes for things like “iodine flavored seaweed stock” and “shrimp in fir needles”.

The restaurant that comes to my mind when you say Molecular Gastronomy is MOTO, in Chicago, where you can find “edible paper” printed (using a hacked Canon inkjet) with different flavored pictures. In fact, if you want the real scoop go here and see a blog documenting (in photos) all the courses in a bizarre/amazing meal at MOTO, from "popcorn flavored packing material" to "vegetable globe".

Doesn’t mad science make you feel hungry?

Now I didn't mention anything specifically fictional or "story game related" in this post, but if one can do such terrible and strange things to food in reality, I'm sure it can get your brain going on ways to implement this (and directions to take it) in your own fiction.

Links:
http://khymos.org/
http://newton.ex.ac.uk/teaching/CDHW/egg/
http://www.cookingforengineers.com/
http://www.motorestaurant.com/flash/index.html

Getting To Know Plants. A GM's Guide.

Welcome to Doctor Gestalt’s Lab that will probably change its name to something catchier very soon, suggestions welcome. First, for your enjoyment, I have something…useful.

A little entry on how to more effectively incorporate plants into an RPG story campaign!

Plants are one of my great loves. Why, any time I am outside I’m apt to be making a mental list of all the weeds and wildflowers I see, and which ones are the most poisonous (we all have our little mental games, do we not?). So if you take the time to add some realism to your invented or real plants you can really add an unexpected depth in your game.

Pardon me if I use examples from my neck of the proverbial woods, since it’s best to write what you know.

First, if you want your players to encounter something you had better make sure that it makes sense for the time of year. Spring is the time for flowers, Summer and fall are better times for fruits. Winter is only gong to have bark or perhaps a few dried berries and seed pods. These are rules you can certainly break (especially using magic or technology), but they are good general rules.

You had also better think about the area the plant is growing. Swampy? Moist? Sandy? Dry? Sunny? Windswept and exposed? These things greatly affect the kinds of plants you will encounter. No ferns in a desert!

There are some general types of plant for you to consider.

A) Is it a flower? Is the most obvious part of the plant the flower? It can be one flower or a lot of flowers. One stalk, or a lot of flower stalks.

B) Is it woody? This doesn’t always mean a tree. Bushes and sometimes vines are woody. Even an herb that has been growing in the same place for years can become woody. Basically it means “not grassy” - grass has no sturdiness. Woody plants have sturdy stems.

C) Is it an herb? Herbs do flower, but the significant part of the plant is the leaves. For example, common herbs you cook with (mint, parsley) - you don’t notice or use the flowers much.D) Does it have fruit? Fruit grows on trees, sure, but it can include berries, pods, seeds, seed-heads like wheat. Singly or in bunches.

Leaves:
Do the leaves sprout from the stalk? Or do they come out of the ground as a rosette (think lettuce, or dandelions). We’ll delve more into leaves in a few more paragraphs.

The Five (or more) Senses:

Generally you can’t hear a plant, but in a fantasy/sci-fi rpg, who knows? Taste, touch, smell, feel, scent… maybe hearing, magical auras, who knows what all! But the more you describe the better the mental image the players can get, and the more opportunities for creativity!

A) How does the plant feel to the touch? Are the leaves hairy or smooth? Thick and succulent? Sticky? Does the plant have dangerous needles or spines? (And think of all the nasty and unexpected effects those spines could have!)

B) How does the plant look? Is it short or tall? A vine? A bush, or a tree? Are the leaves glossy? Spotted? Striped?

C) How do the flowers grow? Is it a single flower head? Many stalks of flowers? Many flowers on one flower spike?

D) Are the petals alike? (like a sunflower or daisy) Or is it made up of petals that are each different (like a violet or orchid)?

E) How do the leaves grow? Are they single or compound like a fern leaf? Also note: If the leaves are opposite, the branches grow opposite (paired on each side) and if the leaves are alternate (one on the left, then one on the right) the branches will grow the same way as well. The pattern of how the leaves grow, and what kind they are, is one of the MOST fundamental ways to identify a plant. I could go into more detail here, but I expect this is plenty. But feel free to let me know in the comments if you want more.

F) Describe the roots. Everyone knows a mandrake has man-shaped roots, but other plants can have interesting root types as well. Taproots (the thing that makes dandelions so pernicious), shallow roots, thin or thick roots, evil prehensile roots.

G) How does the plant smell when crushed?

H) How does the plant taste? Do the berries and leaves taste different? Smart adventurers will not swallow when they taste an unknown plant! (If they taste it at all!)

Another area of importance:
What is the defining characteristic of your plant that gave it its name?

In a game setting with invented plants this could be the most important thing of all. You need to describe red sap if you want them to recognize Bloodroot, or mention the berries come in pairs if you want them to call it Twinberry.

Well that is my take on adding more realistic plants to a game or story setting. Not comprehensive, by a long shot. But a good start. If you have any questions or suggestions feel free to drop me an email or comment. DocGestalt (at) Gmail.com